What does it mean to walk in love as Paul teaches in the book of Romans? What does it look like to have right relationships with other believers and right relationships with those outside?

In Romans chapter 12, we enter into a biblical discussion on relationships and the relational victories that grace and glory will bring us into. First and foremost, of course, is our relationship with God. Our deep intimacy with the Lord is paramount to our success in all other relationships as well as every other area of our life. We must be living martyrs (12:1), wholly surrendered to God’s will and ways. Secondly, is our relationship with others and Paul gives us powerful guidelines for right relationships with our fellow humans.

Right Relationships with Other Believers

Honest Evaluation

There is no place in Christianity for play-acting. Jesus paid much too high a price for us to dip our toes into the River of Life whenever or only if we feel like it. The call is clear, the standard is high, and Jesus Christ is most worthy of our humility, honesty, and sincerity.

“God has given me grace to speak a warning about pride. I would ask each of you to be emptied of self-promotion and not create a false image of your importance. Instead, honestly assess your worth by using your God-given faith as the standard of measurement, and then you will see your true value with an appropriate self-esteem.”

Romans 12:3 TPT

Faith Is “the Standard of Measurement”

God counsels us to let faith be the standard of measurement by which we assess our worth. Our faith is God-given. We are warned against pride and self-promotion because we need a warning. We are all tempted to assess our worth by worldly measures and then become puffed up with pride. Instead, we must look honestly at our faith and evaluate whether we are living in and by faith, knowing that “without faith living within us it would be impossible to please God. For we come to God in faith knowing that he is real and that he rewards the faith of those who passionately seek him” (Hebrews 11:6 TPT). And, because faith is the standard of measurement of our worth, no one is less or more worthy than any other believer.

Vital Cooperation

Next, Paul makes the point that we need a vital cooperation with others in the body of Christ. Through cooperation, we will go places in God that are impossible alone, and likewise, God will use us to push others into their destiny as well.

“In the human body there are many parts and organs, each with a unique function. And so it is in the body of Christ. For though we are many, we’ve all been mingled into one body in Christ. This means that we are all vitally joined to one another, with each contributing to the others.

God’s marvelous grace imparts to each one of us varying gifts. So if God has given you the grace-gift of prophecy, activate your gift by using the proportion of faith you have to prophesy. If your grace-gift is serving, then thrive in serving others well. If you have the grace-gift of teaching, then be actively teaching and training others. If you have the grace-gift of encouragement, then use it often to encourage others. If you have the grace-gift of giving to meet the needs of others, then may you prosper in your generosity without any fanfare. If you have the gift of leadership, be passionate about your leadership. And if you have the gift of showing compassion, then flourish in your cheerful display of compassion.”

Romans 12:4–8 TPT

Cooperation in the Body of Christ

Paul begins his exhortation to unity by encouraging us to first have an honest evaluation and then to choose vital cooperation. The first ensures our humility, and the next ensures our ability to give to and receive from others within the family of God. We need one another, and none of us, no matter how spiritual or wise, is meant to make it on our own.

You are where you are right now because of the people in your life who have contributed to your life journey. Your mentors, pastors, teachers, fathers, mothers, counselors, and friends have all been paintbrushes in the hand of God as he has created the masterpiece of your life.

Loving Participation

This is where the “rubber meets the road,” so to speak, in our progression into Christlikeness. How do you treat others? The answer to this question is the measure of your spirituality, no matter how gifted or knowledgeable you may be. Anything less than sincere love is less than the measure of Jesus.

“Let the inner movement of your heart always be to love one another, and never play the role of an actor wearing a mask. Despise evil and embrace everything that is good and virtuous.

Be devoted to tenderly loving your fellow believers as members of one family. Try to outdo yourselves in respect and honor of one another.

Be enthusiastic to serve the Lord, keeping your passion toward him boiling hot! Radiate with the glow of the Holy Spirit and let him fill you with excitement as you serve him.

Let this hope burst forth within you, releasing a continual joy. Don’t give up in a time of trouble, but commune with God at all times.

Take a constant interest in the needs of God’s beloved people and respond by helping them. And eagerly welcome people as guests into your home.

Speak blessing, not cursing, over those who reject and persecute you.

Celebrate with those who celebrate, and weep with those who grieve. Live happily together in a spirit of harmony, and be as mindful of another’s worth as you are your own. Don’t live with a lofty mind-set, thinking you are too important to serve others, but be willing to do menial tasks and identify with those who are humble minded. Don’t be smug or even think for a moment that you know it all.”

Romans 12:9–16 TPT

True Spiritual Maturity

You can have all the titles, degrees, and accolades, but the truth is you are only as spiritual as you are loving. Love is the litmus test. Can you pass that test? The body of Christ is God’s beautiful, holy, and treasured family. We are all at different stages of spiritual development, but we are all on time because we are under the blood of Jesus. Functioning healthily and lovingly within God’s family is our assignment and our privilege. We must embrace this assignment, loving what God loves with all of our heart. Are you longing for more of Jesus? You will find him within his people. He is Yahweh-Shammah, “the Lord is there.” Where? In his people.

Right Relationships with Those Outside

Harmony in Relationships

Well, take a deep breath and prepare to say “ouch” before you read these next few verses. Paul gives us powerful and clear instructions to keep us on course in life. It is certain that as we navigate our journey, there will be many opportunities to hold a grudge against others or to get even when someone wrongs us. The struggle is real. However, we can overcome because Jesus has already given us the victory. Through him, we can and will “defeat evil with good” (Romans 12:21 TPT).

“Never hold a grudge or try to get even, but plan your life around the noblest way to benefit others. Do your best to live as everybody’s friend.

Beloved, don’t be obsessed with taking revenge, but leave that to God’s righteous justice. For the Scriptures say:

‘Vengeance is mine, and I will repay,’ says the Lord.

And:

If your enemy is hungry, buy him lunch! Win him over with kindness. For your surprising generosity will awaken his conscience, and God will reward you with favor.

Never let evil defeat you, but defeat evil with good.”

Romans 12:17–21 TPT

Grudges, Offense, and Vengeance

Do Christians need sound teaching about topics as dark and sinister as revenge and unforgiveness? Yes, we certainly do. Being alive on the earth guarantees us many opportunities to be offended. As the people of God, and certainly within the community of believers, we do not have the right to hold grudges or to take revenge.

“Defeat Evil with Good”

The concluding principle is so powerful: don’t let evil defeat you; instead, you defeat evil by doing good. You will win every battle in this way. The greater One lives in you, and he is love. Love conquers evil every time. Win your victories by taking the “high road.” The low road is quarreling, defending yourself, and getting even. It may seem easier, but it cannot take you to where God wants you to be. Choosing love is choosing the life he has destined you for.

These are the standards Paul gives us:

• No grudges
• No getting even
• No taking revenge
• No yielding to evil
• Plan ways to benefit others
• Be a friend to everyone
• Feed your hungry enemy
• Show your enemy generosity
• Win your enemy over with kindness

• Defeat evil with good God’s Word calls us beyond shallow religion into a life ablaze with Christ. When we surrender fully to him, the Spirit will empower us to walk in humility, to embrace one another with honor, and to shine heaven’s kindness into a broken world. Right relationships are not built on human effort, but on the river of grace that flows from the cross. As we yield to this grace, the fragrance of Jesus will be seen in our homes, our churches, and even among those who oppose us. Remember, love always wins.

The above was adapted from Not Guilty: Be Free to Experience God’s Love, a devotional commentary on the book of Romans.

Shame. Failure. Sin. They leave mankind with a verdict: guilty. Have you been trusting in your works or feeling continually crushed by sin? Your story does not end there. Christ paid the price, and a new verdict has been rendered: not guilty! It’s time to relinquish every heavy burden of sin and guilt to God.

As you examine the powerful, freeing book of Romans through this devotional commentary and study guide, you will

• rediscover the joy of your salvation,

• surrender all self-righteousness,

• stop striving to please God or earn his love,

• return to the simplicity of the gospel of grace,

• silence the accusing voice of shame, and

• experience acceptance by God.

Understand the true grace of the gospel that releases God’s power and peace into your life. Click here to learn more.